Дозировка

На упаковке с лекарством всегда указана дозировка препарата, а так же побочные действия, показания и противопоказания к применению. Было бы не плохо ввести такую практику и ко всему окружающему нас. Особенно к людям.

Попробую на своем примере составить такую инструкцию.

Состав: Масса из плоти, крови и говна (углерод, водород, кислород, азот, фосфор, сера, кальций, натрий, магний, бор, хлор, калий, ванадий, марганец, железо, кобальт, никель, медь, цинк, молибден, хром, кремний, йод, фтор, селен).

Описание: Существо разумное, прямоходящее. Имеет две верхние и две нижние конечности, голову, на которой пара глаз, пара ушей, нос и рот. Мозг, теоретически, присутствует, но точных подтверждений этому нет.

Свойства: Убивает здоровые клетки мозга путем долгих рассуждений на различные темы. Расстраивает психику своим присутствием. Раздражает зрительные и слуховые рецепторы своим внешним видом, поведением, воспроизводимыми звуками и образами.

Показания к применению: Скука, желание принять алкоголь, завышенная самооценка, наличие бредовой идеи.

Способ применения: Наружное (улица, кабак, любое другое общественное место), местное (у него), внутреннее (у себя). Способы применения можно комбинировать, но это чаще всего приводит к передозировке.

Дозировка: Наружное применение допускается 1–2 раза в день, но не более 1 часа. Местное — 1 раз в неделю, не более 5–6 часов. Внутреннее — не более 1 раза в месяц.

Побочные действия: Головная боль, тошнота, рвота, полное или частичное финансовое истощение.

Противопоказания: Гиперчувствительность, нетерпимость к алкоголю, табаку, нецензурной брани и долгим монологам, несдержанность, агрессивное поведение. Так же противопоказано детям, беременным и лицам престарелого возраста.

Условия хранения: Хранить в тепле и сытости.

Срок годности: Годен до 20.02.2020 г.

◄ К списку Добавлено 12.05.2010 в 22:45
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